Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Trials of Many Kinds

  Will life ever get easier? It seems like I'm always going through a trial. I know James 1 says, "Consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trials of many kinds." I don't know about you, but I don't feel joyful. With us not having a car things are really rough. I'm getting really sick of having to tell my friends why I wasn't at church or why I can't hang out. Don't get me wrong, the church just up to road from our house is pretty cool, and I happen to know one of the sponsors. But, I miss my church. I miss my friends. I miss being able to hang out with friends. I miss the way things used to be. I feel like I have so much pressure on me right now. And I feel like I have to keep in all in. I feel like I have to pretend like I have it all together when truth is, I don't. I'm sick of this life. I just wish that we didn't have to worry. I know God has a plan for me, but when will this plan take place?!
  God has a plan and I know it will happen on his timing, but I'm sick of waiting. I feel like I'm a sitting duck. Waiting for God to show me a sign. Makes me wonder if he DOES have a plan. I mean, if he had a plan, why would God just let me struggle? It doesn't make any sense. Why would God tell me to have joy that I'm struggling, and we don't even have a car?? I miss my friends. A lot. And it's only been a week. They're what keeps me strong. My best friend believes me even when I can't believe in myself. I wonder why that is.
  He saw good in me when I hated myself. I heard a saying, "If you don't like you, how can you expect others to like you?" Witch is kinda right. I mean, if you don't like yourself, how can you expect others to enjoy spending time with you? Food for thought.
 Love you guys! Until next time.

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