Saturday, July 30, 2011

The Heart of the Issue

  So my dad took away my phone yesterday. He said that I have been on my phone a lot the past few days. I have been down because of strep. But I was aching and hurting so bad that talking to someone helped distract me. I had to go to work without my phone and when I got home we had a little chat. My parents had got into my phone and read my messages. And they wonder why I don't trust them! I feel like my privacy has been violated!
  My mom will be leaving soon and my dad will be working. I decided to be home schooled because its what my mom wanted me to do. Everything I do; everything I decide is because of what my mom wants me to do. I'm sick of living under that shadow of my family. I wish I could be ME. My mom I believe has the reigns too tight. Its not wings that I want, I want to be me. I want to hang out with my friends, I want to bee able to work, I want to be able to at least TALK to my friends without my parents getting suspicious.
  But what is the REAL issue here? I guess it looks like mom vs. daughter. Mom's will to not give me some freedom and trust or the daughter who just wants to be her own person. Not necessarily have wings but wants to be her own person.
  Last year I went to in self destruct mode. It wasn't healthy. And about 6 months ago, it was worse. My best friend has been there the whole time and I am so thankful for that. My parents think that something else is up and nothing is. They think that I'm isolating myself from my family and I'm not. I guess when you stand aside and watch your OWN life, you start to notice where your priorities lie. I love my best friends. And if they get taken away from me, I  have nothing. So I guess the real question is this: is it worth it? Lets hope so..

Saturday, July 23, 2011


   I just got back from camp yesterday. My week was last week but I helped with 3rd and 4th graders Wednesday-Friday. It was an awesome experience!The theme was I AM. We studied the story of Moses. Its really amazing just how many angles you can look at the story of Moses.
  Moses changed a lot of lives. Sure he had his screw ups. Who doesn't? But what made the difference was he let God work in him and use him. When God first called him, he made excuses. But God knew that Moses was scared. It makes me wonder. God uses the son of Pharaoh to deliver his slaves. Why HIM? I mean, Moses had a point. Someone else COULD have done it. But God wanted HIM.
  The speaker this week had a point this week. When God sent the plagues, he did a pretty darn good job picking them. Because the Egyptians had so many gods, they had a god for every tiny thing. He chose them specifically to show them that HE is the way. That HE is the light. HE is the one true God. I can't tell you why God sent the plagues, but I CAN tell you that God had a plan.
  We had a tornado here in Joplin recently. Its a horrible experience to drive down Rangeline and see the damage. I can't tell you why God sent the tornado. But I CAN tell you that God has a plan. He has reached so many people because of the tornado. And despite the destruction, people are working together. :) Joplin was broken before the tornado. We may be broken in a more literal form now, but we are coming together.
We are ALL God's children. We are ALL loved by him. I will write again soon. God Bless!